


dreaming of being alive

by TrenchWarfare



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Post-Kingdom Hearts III, Slow Burn, Spoilers - Kingdom Hearts III, seriously so many spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-11-01 10:07:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17865281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrenchWarfare/pseuds/TrenchWarfare
Summary: Ienzo had never paid much attention to Demyx the first time around. Sure, they enjoyed the occasional game of Twister together, but that was mostly because the rest of the Organization refused to play with them.Other than that, they merely existed adjacent to each other, each of them too preoccupied with their own agendas to pay mind to those outside of their usual spheres. Ienzo had just figured that they weren’t really well-suited for each other.Now, staring at the vessel that Demyx unceremoniously dropped at his feet, Ienzo has to reexamine that assumption.





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

> So, this was supposed to be a oneshot and that clearly didn't work out, so here we are. Shoutout to Kieran who let me ramble about Ienzo at five in the morning which is what ultimately spawned this fic.

Ienzo had never paid much attention to Demyx the first time around. Sure, they enjoyed the occasional game of Twister together, but that was mostly because the rest of the Organization refused to play with them, claiming that it was a game for children. 

Ienzo tried not to point out the irony of them saying that to him, when his own childhood was stolen from him by the Organization. They would only mock Demyx even more for not having such an excuse, and while Ienzo is not one for self-sacrifice, he didn’t want Demyx to face further ridicule. 

Other than that, they merely existed adjacent to each other, each of them too preoccupied with their own agendas to pay mind to those outside of their usual spheres. 

It’s just that, Ienzo and Demyx… Well, they were very different. Ienzo can’t deny that the only thing that brought him joy in those days, or, well, the closest thing to it when he was lacking the vital organ necessary for such emotions, was research. Meanwhile, Demyx seemed to care more about his music and avoiding work. Ienzo had just figured that they weren’t really well-suited for each other. 

Now, staring at the vessel that Demyx unceremoniously dropped at his feet, Ienzo has to reexamine that assumption. 

“So are we just gonna stand here staring at it, or are you going to do something?” Demyx asks. Ienzo turns his attention to him, noting the way Demyx’s hands seem to unconsciously toy with the zipper of his coat. He hasn’t changed a bit, aside from the yellow eyes. 

Ienzo lets a soft smile creep across his face. “Well, shall we get to work?” Ienzo asks, not waiting for Ansem’s reply before turning back to the computer and typing away. 

Demyx huffs and leans against the computer console, unabashedly staring as Ienzo works. Ienzo isn’t naive enough to think that Demyx understands anything on the screen. It’s likely that Demyx’s technical understanding is probably on the same level as Sora, but his attention makes Ienzo nervous for some inexplicable reason. 

Ienzo tries to shake the feeling as he locates all of the data they have on Sora. He’s not sure how long it will take to isolate Roxas’s data, so he figures he should start on it right away while Ansem enlists the help of Dilan to get the vessel ready. 

 

* * *

 

The thing about Demyx that Ienzo is the most baffled by, is that he never really leaves. 

Surely, Demyx has better things to do than hanging around an old research lab, but after dropping off the empty vessel, Demyx was determined to hang around and get in the way as much as possible. Though, to be fair, Ienzo certainly didn’t find him as obnoxious as Ansem seemed to; considering the way Ansem snapped at the nobody after an hour of Demyx helicoptering around their work area. 

Once again, after such a short amount of time, Ienzo finds himself reexamining his perception of Demyx. Perhaps he is not as uninterested in science as once thought? Though, something tells Ienzo that that’s not quite Demyx’s motivation. 

Demyx doesn’t seem to care much about the actual process of restoring Roxas, as he reverts back to his usual flippant demeanor whenever Ansem talks for too long, but Ienzo feels Demyx's gaze constantly, and he can’t imagine any other scenario in which Demyx would be interested in watching him if not for the science. 

Ienzo finds himself wondering if perhaps Demyx is nostalgic. Maybe Demyx looks back on their games of Twister with as much fondness as Ienzo does. They were the only two in the castle who were ever interested in finding fun like that, especially once Axel had Roxas and Xion to shower in attention. Though, Ienzo finds a lot more entertainment in his experiments nowadays. 

However, if Demyx were to request a game… Well, Ienzo doesn’t think that he would turn him down. 

Despite Ansem’s complaints, Demyx doesn’t really ever get in the way. He simply hovers around them, sort of on the outskirts, but his presence seems to fill the room nonetheless. Occasionally he disappears, and Ienzo is pretty sure he’s only going back to Xehanort to play at still being on his side. He always comes back though, even if he seems a little worse for wear when he does. 

Restoring Roxas takes time. Time that Ienzo isn’t even sure they can afford, but he’s not willing to do subpar work. The heroes of light will just have to be patient while Ienzo spends sleepless nights making sure the data is perfect.

It’s all worth it when blue eyes flutter open, filled with Roxas’s familiar fire. 

They send Roxas off shortly after he awakens and finally Ienzo relaxes. Hopefully Roxas will be enough to turn the tides of battle in the light’s favor. If not… Well, Ienzo has done all he can. He simply must place his trust in Sora and the others. 

Ienzo notices Demyx fidgeting in a corner, worrying at his thumbnail with his teeth, and Ienzo recognizes anxiety when he sees it, so he makes his way over to Demyx.

“Are you hungry?” Ienzo asks, staring up at Demyx. 

Demyx starts, like he wasn’t expecting to be acknowledged in a way that wasn’t a reprimand for hanging around. “I- uh. No, not really?” Demyx laughs a little to cover up his awkward fumbling of words. 

Ienzo narrows his eyes, sizing Demyx up, and comes to a decision. “Come with me anyway.” He doesn’t give Demyx a chance to reply, simply turning on his heel and striding out of the computer room that has become all too familiar to him once more. 

Demyx follows close on his heels as Ienzo leads them out of the castle. 

The city of Radiant Garden is a far cry from its former beauty, but the restoration committee has made a lot of strides in reconstructing it. The postern is no longer in a state of ruin, and there’s a clear, almost bustling, path from it to the city center where Ienzo knows Scrooge’s old ice cream parlour resides. 

Scrooge McDuck has long since absconded from Radiant Garden, but his nephews keep the ice cream place, along with a few other business, up and running. Ienzo orders two of their sea salt ice creams, then drags Demyx over to one of the picnic tables that popped up in the area once more restaurants opened up. 

“Uh, thanks,” Demyx says, sitting down hesitantly as he takes the proffered ice cream. 

Ienzo nods and looks at the table, his eyes straying to a the warped wood. Now that he has Demyx in front of him, he’s a bit at a loss of what to do. Ienzo has never been particularly good with people, and considering most of his formative years were spent without a heart… Well, it certainly didn’t help. 

Ienzo can feel Demyx’s eyes on him though and the attention makes him feel uncomfortably hot. Ienzo clears his throat as he tries to find words. 

“You’re still here.” Is what Ienzo settles on. He looks up in time to see Demyx looking a bit taken aback at Ienzo’s bluntness and it makes him wince internally. That wasn’t really the desired outcome here. 

Demyx deflates a little and rubs his arm. “Yeah, I don’t really have anywhere else to go.” Demyx smiles ruefully. 

Ienzo blinks. He hadn’t even considered that, which he now realizes was shortsighted on his part. Ienzo can’t quite seem to ever wrap his mind around Demyx’s motives. Perhaps it’s best to just hear them from the nobody himself. 

“Why here?” Is perhaps the most pressing question on Ienzo’s mind. Ienzo can’t imagine this world holds very many good memories for Demyx. “Why not the world you came from?”

“My, ah,” Demyx takes a bite of his ice cream as he leans back in his seat, “My current body isn’t well suited to the climate.” Oh, that’s interesting. Ienzo files that information away to examine at a later time. “Plus, I don’t want anyone there to see what I’ve become.” Demyx turns his gaze downwards, trying to hide the grimace on his face from Ienzo.

“What are you so ashamed of?” Ienzo asks. Demyx shrugs noncommittally in response. 

They’re both quiet for a moment, Demyx clearly uncomfortable with the line of questioning and Ienzo trying to think of something else to say that wouldn’t aggravate Demyx further.

“Well,” Ienzo says slowly, “I, for one, don’t think you should be ashamed.” Demyx looks up at Ienzo’s words, a look of disbelief on his face. “You may not be fighting, but without your help, the battle that’s being waged would be quite different.” Ienzo thinks of the phone in his pocket that’s been quiet for too long to be comfortable and spares a moment to hope for the best. 

“You think so?” Demyx asks. Sitting there, hunched over a popsicle, Demyx looks uncharacteristically vulnerable and Ienzo’s heart twinges in sympathy.

“Yes, of course.” Ienzo nods. “And I can’t speak for everyone else, but if you want to stay here, then you’re certainly welcome in my book.”

A grin works its way across Demyx’s face. “Aww, be careful there, Ienzo. You might not be able to get rid of me.” 

“Why would I want to get rid of you?” Ienzo tilts his head in confusion. 

“I’m sure I’ll get on your nerves soon enough.” Demyx winks. “The old Demyx charm annoys everyone.”

“You’ve never annoyed me,” Ienzo says, because it’s true. Demyx can be loud and a little out there, but Ienzo has never found his antics annoying like the other Organization members. 

It seems that Ienzo’s comment has struck Demyx temporarily speechless. Demyx gapes at him, his mouth open just the tiniest bit, while his ice cream drips onto his gloved hand. It’s cute and Ienzo can’t quite hold back a quiet laugh at the sight, though he tries to hide it behind his hand.  

Ienzo’s laugh snaps Demyx out of it and he startles, before making a big show of licking the ice cream off the leather, which only causes Ienzo to laugh louder. 

His heart feels lighter than Ienzo can ever remember. He thinks that he could get used to having Demyx around. 

 

* * *

 

Everyone is a little bit shocked when Isa is recompleted on the floor of the research lab. 

Ienzo immediately goes on the defensive, calling upon his familiar magic to summon his book. He steps between Isa’s prone form and Ansem while he yells for Dilan and Aeleus. Demyx lurks in the background, but he summons his sitar, ready to fight if pushed. 

Isa groans and pulls himself to his feet just as Dilan barrels into the room holding one of his lances aloft. Aeleus is hot on his tail and he pushes past Dilan to grab Isa by his coat and slam him up against the glass wall. 

Isa opens his eyes to reveal a steely blue and the tension bleeds out of the room. 

Aeleus lowers Isa to the ground, but doesn’t let him go just yet. Ienzo dismisses his book and steps forward. 

“You’ve been recompleted.” Ienzo peers closely at Isa, looking for signs of aggression, but only finding resignation and regret.

“I’m sorry,” Isa says, and he does truly sound regretful, “for everything.”

Aeleus releases Isa who immediately falls to his knees, overcome with grief over his actions. Ienzo pities him, it must be difficult to suddenly feel so much after betraying everyone, including his best friend. Though, that doesn’t make what he’s done okay by any means. 

Ienzo pulls out his gummi phone and sends a message to Lea. It would be best to let him decide what to do with Isa. 

 

* * *

 

There’s a lot of relief felt around the castle, and even the city itself, when they get word that the light won. Relief that soon turns bitter for everyone who knew Sora. 

Ienzo hadn’t known Sora for long. He hadn’t been very involved with him in Castle Oblivion, but the conversations they had on the gummi phone hold a dear place in Ienzo’s heart as one of the few genuine interactions he’s experienced in his existence. Sora seems to have that effect on everyone. The grief that Riku and Lea feel is palpable when they bring the news to them. 

“At this point, all we can do is hope that he doesn’t get more lost,” Riku says. But Ienzo can tell from the way that Riku is carrying himself, like the weight of ten worlds is on his shoulders, that they don’t truly believe that Sora will fight his way out of this one. It’s sobering, but Ienzo pushes through the grief. There is still plenty to do, now that Riku has brought them another vessel. 

Out of everyone, Demyx seems to feel the most relief at the news of Xehanort being vanquished at last. The past few days, he’s been cagey while they’ve waited for any update, or for the worlds to end, but now he’s full of familiar, endless energy. Ienzo finds himself smiling whenever he hears the strumming of Demyx’s sitar while he works.    


Ienzo is busy for the next few days, working with Ansem to restore Naminé. They have less data ready for her, so it takes some time getting everything prepared, but they make it work and send her off to Destiny Islands with Riku, Lea having left days earlier with Isa.

Once that’s done, Ienzo can finally relax. 

Except, now faced with the possibility of relaxation, Ienzo doesn’t really know what to do with himself. Which is how he finds himself wandering the castle, his nose buried in a book about music theory of all things. It’s one of the few volumes in the library that he hadn’t read when he was younger. 

And, he has to admit, that Demyx might have contributed to his desire to read up on music.

Ienzo soon finds himself outside of Demyx’s room, having unconsciously followed the sound of his music. The door is ajar, so Ienzo doesn’t feel bad about peeking inside, always happy to satiate his curiosity. 

Demyx is sitting in by the window, his legs crossed under him, an old guitar in his lap as he plays a melancholic melody. His head is leaning against the windowpane and Ienzo marvels at his ability to play something so good in such a position. 

Ienzo is loathe to disturb him, but the music just sounds so  _ sad.  _ So he knocks on the door and clears his throat to get Demyx’s attention.

Demyx jumps a little in surprise, knocking his head into the window with a loud thunk. 

“Hey,” Demyx says when he sees who his visitor is. He rubs at a red mark on his forehead as he sets his sitar down. 

“Sorry to disturb you,” Ienzo says, grimacing at how stilted his voice comes out. He still hasn’t quite gotten the hang of socializing yet, but Ansem insists that it’s important. 

“Hey, no worries!” Demyx flaps his hand, waving away Ienzo’s apology. “What can I do for you?” Demyx asks and there’s something off about his smile that Ienzo can’t quite place. 

Ienzo panics for a moment, realizing that he didn’t actually have a reason to be here. Then, he remembers the book in his hand and holds it up so the cover is facing Demyx. 

“I was hoping you could help me understand this chapter,” Ienzo says as he flips the book open to a random page. He winces internally. Consonance and dissonance is a relatively simple concept to understand, Demyx is going to see right through him. 

“Are you sure I can help?” Demyx furrows his brow, not even glancing at Ienzo’s book. “I’m not exactly the best study buddy.”

“Why not?” Ienzo asks. 

Demyx frowns. “I’m just not very smart,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck self-consciously. Like he’s not exactly comfortable admitting it. 

Now it’s Ienzo’s turn to furrow his brow in confusion. “That’s not true.” 

Ienzo can understand where Demyx is coming from. The organization wasn’t kind to him and certain members, like Saix and Xigbar, seemed to derive pleasure from feeding into Demyx’s insecurities. But they’re gone and Ienzo isn’t going to just let Demyx sit around believing himself to be inferior for any longer. 

“What?” Demyx blinks.

“Sure,” Ienzo starts pacing, hand on his chin because it helps him think and he wants to choose his words carefully to drive the point home. “Maybe you’re not book smart, and maybe you are lacking motivation-”

Demyx squawks, indignation flashing across his face. “Is this supposed to be a pep talk? Because it’s really not working.”

So much for choosing his words carefully. Ienzo sighs, his breath making his fringe flutter, but trudges forward. He’s not going to stop just because of one misstep. 

“As I was saying.” Ienzo stops his pacing and looks at Demyx, whose gaze is fixed on the floor, his fingers picking at the strings of his guitar. Ienzo is only a little miffed at Demyx’s perceived lack of attention. “Intelligence comes in many different forms and yours just manifests differently than mine or anyone else’s in the organization.”

“How so?” Demyx asks.

“Well, for one, I don’t really know anything about music.” Ienzo looks at the book in his hands, his thumb still caught between the pages, keeping it open to the chapter he feigned not knowing about. “I certainly wouldn’t be able to play as many instruments as you.”

Ienzo looks up in time to watch Demyx’s mouth twist in displeasure. “That’s talent, not a sign of intelligence.”

Ienzo narrows his eyes and huffs. “You underestimate how much mental power is used to create art. Even disregarding the emotional aspect of it and your technical ability, there’s still a lot to know and learn in order to be as skilled as you are.”

Demyx scoffs. Clearly, Ienzo isn’t getting through to him, so he tries a different angle. 

“Can you read sheet music?” Ienzo asks. 

“Sure,” Demyx shrugs. 

Ienzo smiles triumphantly. “Well, that’s basically like knowing a second language, which not many people can say about themselves. Also the fact that you can remember notes and know what will sound good together is a huge testament to how well you know music,” Ienzo sees Demyx open his mouth, as if he wants to argue, but Ienzo simply raises his voice. “Not to mention the knowledge required for proper maintenance for all of your instruments.”

“That’s not really-”

Ienzo bulldozes forward, not letting Demyx finish that thought. “And don’t even get me started on the work you did in the Organization.” 

“What work?” Demyx finally looks up from his guitar in shock.

Ienzo stares at Demyx, unable to comprehend his disbelief at the idea of being useful. “Your reconnaissance work was invaluable,” Ienzo explains slowly, as if a reduction of speed will make the words have more weight. “Sure, your reports were messy and actually awful to read-”

“Hey!”

“But you always knew exactly what to look for in any world we dropped you in. Even if it was a desert.” 

Ienzo had always been impressed with Demyx’s work. No one else was really able to do what he did without having to turn people into heartless to get it done. Not to mention that Demyx’s information about the worlds lended a lot to Ienzo’s research at the time.

“No one else sees it like that.” Demyx’s voice is so quiet that Ienzo strains to hear it. 

Ienzo wants to shake Demyx until he can see things Ienzo’s way. But he settles on this; “Screw everyone else. I admire you enough for all thirteen of us.”

“Zexion,” Demyx says quietly.

Ienzo flinches at the name. He doesn’t quite understand his visceral reaction to it, but he can examine that a later time. “Ienzo. Please.” He presses the importance of this into his words.

Demyx's eyes widen in alarm and he slumps, curling in on himself slightly. “Sorry, I wasn’t thinking.”

“I know.” Ienzo curses his choice of words when he sees Demyx recoil. “I mean, it’s a learning curve for all of us, right?” Ienzo tries to smile reassuringly. 

Demyx smiles back, though hesitation is clear in the set of his mouth. Ienzo figures baby steps are better than walking backwards.

“You’re different now,” Demyx says, plucking out a chord. “Than you used to be,” he clarifies when Ienzo doesn’t respond. 

Now that the tension has leaked out of the room, Ienzo takes a seat next to Demyx. “I feel different,” he says, folding his feet underneath himself.

“Is that good?” Demyx asks.

Ienzo considers that for a moment. He thinks about the way his research used to feel so empty and how much joy he derives from it now. He thinks about how nice it is to work with Ansem again, how he never has to see Xehanort again. And finally, he thinks about the warmth that fills him at unexpected times, like when he watches the sunrise, or when he studies Demyx’s face.

“I think so,” Ienzo says finally. Then he holds his book out to Demyx, eager to move away from such a heavy subject. “Anyway, tell me about consonance.”

Demyx just laughs and takes the book to see what he can discern from it. 


	2. Part 2

Ienzo and Demyx have been spending more time together. Ienzo is grateful to have a friend when there’s still a lingering animosity amongst the other organization members. He can only assume that Demyx hangs around him for the same reason.

Without the threat of the end of existence hanging over him, Ienzo throws himself into learning more about music theory, chasing a thought that is lingering in the back of his head.

Meanwhile, Demyx keeps mostly to himself, apart from when he spends time with Ienzo., He secludes himself to his room for the most part and busies himself with his instruments. Occasionally, he leaves the castle entirely, but Ienzo can never quite figure out where he goes. Though, it’s not for a lack of trying.

Ienzo is the only person that Demyx doesn’t seem to avoid and Ienzo keeps that knowledge close to his heart, warming him from the inside out.

Despite his inexplicable happiness about Demyx feeling comfortable around him, Ienzo’s curiosity is being driven wild anytime he can’t find Demyx in the castle. Which is why, when Demyx is nowhere to be found, Ienzo goes out into the city, trying to figure out what Demyx is up to.

If anyone were to ask, Ienzo would claim suspicion to be the cause of his snooping. But he knows deep down that it’s loneliness that causes him to seek Demyx out. As much as Ienzo enjoys spending time with Ansem, it’s nice to be with someone who is interested in him more than science.

Which is how Ienzo finds himself wandering around Radiant Garden in the early evening, while the sun casts an orange glow from beyond the turrets of the castle. The streets are pretty crowded at this time, as people are either trying to hurry home before it gets too dark, or venture out to enjoy what little nightlife Radiant Garden has to offer.

Ienzo spends too much time picking his way through the crowded marketplace, almost completely overwhelmed by the assault of conflicting noises and the uncomfortable press of people around him, before he gives up and starts heading back to the castle. Ienzo is cursing his inability to handle crowds when he reaches the Bailey.

The area around the castle was one of the hardest hit when the world succumbed to darkness,. Much of it is still merely rubble leading from the Bailey up to the castle. The renovation committee is determined to fix the rest of the city first, not that Ienzo can blame them.

He’s picking his way through the stray rocks and remnants of walls when his shoe catches on a piece of rebar and he goes flying.

Ienzo’s palms take the brunt of the damage when his hands fly out to catch himself just in time to stop him from breaking his nose on concrete, but nothing is there to stop his knees from crashing to the ground, tearing both cloth and skin alike. He takes a moment to center himself, probably looking like a mess on all fours in a pile of rocks, before he stumbles to his feet.

His hands are torn raw, covered in tiny scratches at the meat of his palms that bleed sluggishly. He imagines his knees are no better, judging from the way they sting, sending shocks of pain through his legs.

Ienzo is wiping the excess blood on the hem of his sleeve, tainting the white with red, when he catches sight of a clearing on the other side of the wreckage.

He furrows his brow and cranes his neck, trying to see what might lay beyond, but the angle is bad enough that all he can see are splashes of color against the ground. Intrigued and momentarily forgetting his minor wounds, Ienzo makes his way to the mouth of the clearing.

He finds Demyx sitting on a pile of wreckage overlooking a colorful mosaic on the ground. He’s resting his chin in his hand, his yellow eyes unseeing as his fingers tap a silent rhythm against his jaw.

Ienzo approaches cautiously, unsure how to handle this uncharacteristically quiet Demyx. Once he fights his way clear of the rubble, Ienzo calls Demyx’s name.

Demyx jerks in surprise, but seems to recover quickly when he realizes who exactly is approaching. “Hey, Ienzo, what’s up?” He asks with a wry smile on his face that doesn’t reach his eyes.

“What are you doing out here?” Ienzo brushes some pebbles off the rock that Demyx is on, then takes a seat beside him.

Demyx avoids Ienzo’s eyes, choosing instead to continue staring at the mosaic ground beneath them. “Sometimes it’s nice to get away from the loudmouths, you know?”

Ienzo doesn’t. Sure, he’s not a fan of noise or people in general, but everyone in the castle is pretty lowkey compared to some of the louder personalities in the organization. “Sure,” Ienzo agrees anyway.

Ienzo examines the ground beneath them in the quiet that follows, trying to discern what it is about it that has captured Demyx’s attention. Sure, it’s aesthetically nice, but apart from that it’s unspecial. Perhaps it holds no meaning, but the glazed look in Demyx’s eyes tells Ienzo otherwise.

Ienzo enjoys the companionable silence that has settled over them as he fiddles with the hem of his sleeves, picking at the threads with his fingernails. The only sounds are the distant noises of the city being carried by the wind. It’s almost relaxing, though, perhaps not as relaxing as curling up in the library with a good book would be.

“What are you doing out here?” Demyx has finally seemed to remember that a conversation goes two ways.

Ienzo shrugs. “I was looking for you.” Ienzo isn’t one to beat around the bush, much preferring bluntness over verbal acrobatics. Most people tend to find it offputting, but it never really phases Demyx.

Then again, Demyx has to deal with his own social faux pas. Perhaps they are more alike than Ienzo would ever have suspected before.

“Why?” Demyx’s voice is small. He hasn’t quite gotten it in his head that Ienzo actually wants to hang out with him. Ienzo is slowly getting used to Demy’s muted surprise when it happens.

“Maybe I was worried,” Ienzo says. Which is true, but not the entire truth. Ienzo doesn’t know exactly why he doesn’t want to be completely honest with him, he just knows that the idea of admitting to Demyx just how much he wants to see him makes his whole body clam up and sets his heart racing.

Hearts are such fickle designs. Ienzo really must do some more research about them if he wants to truly understand his new existence.

“Maybe?” Demyx prompts, finally turning his attention to Ienzo. Ienzo’s heart stutters when yellow eyes lock onto his own.

“Okay, I was,” Ienzo admits, fiddling with the fraying hem of his coat. He takes a deep breath before continuing, Demyx’s amusement spurring him into candor. “But mostly, I just missed you.”

“Me?”

Demyx’s flabbergasted expression causes Ienzo to laugh, his face splitting into a wide grin at the sight of Demyx’s too wide eyes and his astonished voice. “Is there anyone else here?” Ienzo teases, hoping to get another good reaction out of Demyx.

Demyx actually looks around, his head twisting this way and that, even going as far as to crane his neck to try and see under the little outcropping they’re sitting on. “I guess not?” He says eventually, but he still sounds hesitant, his voice lilting into a question mark.

Ienzo considers Demyx, tilting his head enough that both of his eyes are free to take in the way that Demyx sits, almost hunched in on himself, self-consciousness screaming in the tenseness of his limbs. “Why do you find it so hard to believe that I enjoy spending time with you?”

Demyx ducks his head in embarrassment, rubbing the back of his neck with a gloved hand. “I just don’t understand what you get out of it,” he says quietly.

Ienzo sniffs, a little affronted at Demyx’s implication that he expects their friendship to be transactional. “I don’t exactly have a lot of experience with this, but I’m pretty sure that that’s not the point of friendships.”

Ienzo can’t remember the last time he was friends with someone. Everyone in the organization had merely been colleagues, and Ansem was too fatherly to be considered a friend. Perhaps when he was a boy - before Ansem took him in - maybe he had a friend then. But he can’t remember, and things that cannot be remembered are not to be dwelled on.

“Friends?” Demyx’s voice is full of wonder, and suddenly Ienzo has the sense of mind to be self-conscious about his wording.

“Yeah.” Ienzo looks down at his lap to see that the hem of his shirt is beyond repair at this point with all of the worrying that his hands have done since he sat down.

“I still don’t really understand,” Demyx admits, but even without looking Ienzo can hear the smile in his voice and a tension that Ienzo hadn’t been aware of leaks out of his shoulders.

“I don’t think we’re supposed to.” Ienzo chuckles quietly. This is truly uncharted waters for him, but his stomach swoops with the excitement that he usually only feels when he makes a breakthrough in a particularly difficult experiment.

“Well, that makes sense then.” Demyx nods, his voice very matter of fact even though he didn’t really say anything sensical.

“Does it?” Ienzo can’t hide his shock. He stares at Demyx with wide eyes as the other man starts gesturing wildly.

“Of course! It’s a heart thing, right?” Demyx doesn’t wait for Ienzo’s response, barreling ahead before Ienzo has a chance to consider _that_. “Heart things never really make sense. I remember that much from before.”

“I guess it does make sense.” Ienzo doesn’t tend to jump to conclusions without proper experimentation, but Demyx’s enthusiasm is contagious and Ienzo can’t bring himself to dispute him.

Though, he’ll definitely do some looking into this later. He adds it to his ever growing mental list of research topics.

They’re both quiet for a moment, watching the shadows stretch across the colorful ground as the sun dips ever lower in the sky.

“I died here,” Demyx says apropos of nothing.

Startled by the revelation, Ienzo studies Demyx. He doesn’t look that put off by being in the place of his death, but his face is carefully neutral, as if there’s more to his feelings than he wants Ienzo to see. Ienzo stays silent, content to wait until Demyx is ready to say more.

Demyx sucks in a heavy breath. “I guess it wasn’t really dying? It’s where I faded away. Right over there.” Demyx points at the far end of the clearing, right at the edge of the mosaic tiles.

Ienzo hums in thought. “What happened? I was already gone by then.”

“I was the first lamb they sent to Sora.” It’s a surprisingly poignant statement for Demyx. But Ienzo chooses to focus more on the bitterness in Demyx’s voice rather than the words themselves.

“Ah.” Ienzo finds himself at a loss for words. He’s never been good at comforting people, a fact which made him almost thankful to spend most of his life around people without hearts. “Do you hate him?” Is what Ienzo settles on, curious to know where exactly the animosity in Demyx’s voice stems from.

“Sora?” Demyx wrinkles his nose, as if he can’t even imagine the thought of disliking everyone’s favorite hero. “No, I don’t think so.”

“No one would blame you.” Ienzo points out, though he’s not entirely sure if he’s right. Most of the people who were killed by Sora were on the other side of all this. The only point of reference Ienzo can think of is Dilan, who has been staunchly quiet on the matter.

“Maybe not.” Demyx shrugs, perhaps thinking of the same thing that occured to Ienzo. “But it wasn’t his fault. The only one to blame is Xehanort.” Demyx voice is full of steel as his eyes turn hard, losing all of the warmth they held previously.

“I suppose that’s true.” Ienzo is inclined to agree, and it’s not just because the hatred in Demyx’s eyes is frightening.

“Sometimes I…” Demyx trails off, his eyes losing focus as he looks off into the distance. Ienzo waits, but it doesn’t seem like Demyx is going to finish the thought anytime soon.

They’re quiet for a long moment, content to sit in amicable silence even once the sun disappears completely and the stars light up the sky. Then, Demyx shakes himself out of the funk he drifted into and turns to Ienzo with the first genuine smile of the evening.

“How’s your most recent experiment going?” He asks.

And even though Ienzo knows that Demyx isn’t likely to follow along as Ienzo explains the intricacies of cardiopathic sensitivity, he can’t quite contain the overflow of words falling from his mouth. But Demyx doesn’t seem put off by it. In fact, he listens raptly, asking surprisingly thoughtful questions when there’s a lull in Ienzo’s rambling.

Ienzo loses track of how much time they spend perched on the rocks, but when they stumble through the castle doors that night, his legs are filled with static from sitting for too long and his heart is filled with a warmth that is becoming all too familiar.

 

* * *

 

One of the most fascinating things about Demyx is that even though he is lacking a heart, he’s still able to produce such moving music.

Ienzo has no doubt that Demyx doesn’t feel things, but the scientist in him wants to uncover why exactly that is, so he delves deep into research mode, burying himself in books in the library and files on Ansem’s computer, trying to get to the root of this conundrum.

He still tries to make time for Demyx of course, frequently resorting to bringing his research into Demyx’s room to spend time with him as Ienzo combs through it. Though, Ienzo has yet to broach the subject with Demyx. He’s waiting until he has some more substantial findings before introducing Demyx to the idea.

Eventually though, every scientist hits their threshold, and Ienzo crashes into his at two in the morning, sitting in front of Ansem’s computer.

He hasn’t showered in a couple of days, so his hair hangs limp and greasy in front of his face, his back hurts from hunching over the screen for so long, and his eyes burn from the constant blue glow. He’s been reading through files for hours, leaning against the console with his chin in his hand, and it all catches up to him at once.

Ienzo must doze off because his head slips from his hand and he faceplants into the keyboard, startling himself awake. It’s not exactly the best wake up call, and it gets even worse when the computer starts blaring at him.

Ienzo fumbles with the keyboard, trying to get it to stop its incessant beeping. He unsuccessfully tries to locate which program is the source of the noise, until a hand appears and presses a button on the keyboard, bringing silence to the lab once more.

Ienzo’s eyes travel up the length of the arm, coming to rest on the face of his mentor. “Master Ansem.” Ienzo dips his head in shame. Why did it have to be someone he looks up to so much to see him like this?

“Ienzo, what are you doing?” Ansem’s face is soft and devoid of judgement.

“Looking into a hypothesis,” Ienzo says in lieu of an actual explanation. So far, none of his suspicions have anything to back them up and he’s not one to talk about something unless he has a leg to stand on.

“Well,” Ansem pulls up a chair next to Ienzo, “Perhaps I can help you. Is there something specific you are looking for?”

Ienzo bites the inside of his cheek as he weighs his options. On one hand, it would be nice to have another set of eyes on the situation, but on the other… He doesn’t want to risk putting Demyx under a microscope.

Then again, Ansem has been determined to make up for his past actions. It’s unlikely that he would repeat such mistakes as ruining lives for the sake of research.

Ansem waits patiently beside him as Ienzo thinks about it, not pushing him for an answer, which Ienzo appreciates. Ienzo takes a breath to steady himself, then nods. “I’ve been trying to ascertain whether or not a nobody could regain their heart on their own.”

Ansem hums in thought. “And this is a hypothetical question, I assume?” Ansem’s eyes sparkle in a way that tells Ienzo that Ansem knows much more than he’s letting on.

“Of course,” Ienzo lies.

“Well, it’s definitely possible.” Ansem rubs his chin in thought. “It’s certainly happened before.”

“It has?” This information shocks Ienzo. He has never heard of such a phenomenon.

“You should talk to Roxas and his friends about this. They might be able to shed some light on your research.” And with that, Ansem leaves Ienzo alone.

Ienzo curses himself for not thinking of this earlier, because of course, _of course_ , if any one of them were to spontaneously grow a heart, it would be Roxas, Lea and Xion. Ienzo pulls out his phone, uncaring of the time, and dials Lea’s number.

It only rings a couple of times before Lea answers, his hair messy and a scowl on his face. “What the hell do you want, Ienzo?”

“Sorry to bother you so late,” Ienzo says, mostly out of obligation. He can’t bring himself to regret this if he manages to make some progress. “I just wanted to talk about something.”

Lea grumbles and the static noise of cloth rustling comes across on the line as Lea shifts into a more comfortable position. “What’s so important that it couldn’t wait?”

Ienzo decides to cut right to the chase. “Before you faded away, did you have a heart?”

Lea looks startled by the question and he takes a moment to think before he responds. He runs his fingers through his wild hair, occasionally getting them caught in a particularly difficult knot. Ienzo tries to be patient as Lea’s mouth intermittently opens and closes with false starts as he dismisses thoughts before they’re even spoken.

Then finally, Lea says, “You know, Roxas told me once that if we had hearts then we would probably feel it.” Lea’s smile is bittersweet. “At the time it made sense, but…” he trails off, lost in thought.

Ienzo waits for a beat, then another, before impatience wins out. “But?” He prompts.

Lea sighs and his shoulder slump. “When I was recompleted, I woke up and I didn’t feel _any_ different.” Lea’s eyes lose focus as he recalls that moment. “It wasn’t until I saw my face and realized my tattoos were gone that I knew that I was human again.”

Well, that’s certainly unexpected.

“So you had a heart, but you never realized.” Ienzo hums and looks at the computer screen. It’s dimmed and gone to sleep in the time since Ienzo smashed his face into it. He yearns to take some notes, but he also doesn’t want to put the phone down.

“Basically,” Lea shrugs, coming back to the moment like his head never went anywhere. “I think the same is probably true for Roxas and Xion, but you would have to ask them.”

“I wonder what was so different for you three than for the rest of us.” Ienzo squints at the tiny phone screen, as if looking hard enough will provide all of the answers that he seeks.

“We had each other,” Lea says simply.

“Yes, of course. A connection.” And maybe it is that simple. Perhaps an emotional catalyst is all a heart needs to flourish. For Lea it would have been Roxas and Xion. But what could it be for Demyx?

“Oh, man.” Lea groans loudly. “You have your thinking face on. I’m hanging up before you talk my ear off.”

Ienzo smiles at the familiar reaction and simply responds, “Goodnight, Lea.” Then he hangs up.

Well, Ienzo definitely has a lot to think about now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to follow me on twitter @CoIIapsingStar if you're interested in how updates or going, or if you just want to see me yell about KH


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